I’m halfway through my first semester at law school. I’m starting to think like a lawyer more and more. I look at every decision from both angles, and frankly it’s stressing me out…

I’m having a hard time deciding what I should be for Halloween.

How about a suit made entirely of statutes and cases? Get it? It’s a law suit! Or I could roll out a rug made of statutes and cases and walk on it everywhere I go. I’d be above the law!

Erm, okay. How about…

How about I get one of those toddler sized slides, oil it up, and tape it to myself? I’ll be that old stalwart legal argument: the slippery slope. I guess that could get a bit too messy; plus, I have a bad history with taping objects to my body (don’t ask).

What if I go as Lady Justice? Togas aren’t really sexy enough for a Halloween costume, though, and I doubt I’d get into too many bars if I’m blindfolded and wielding a sword.

Okay, what if I go as Andi Dorfman then? She’s the attorney turned The Bachelorette. I’d just need a wig and… and 25 bachelors to follow me around all night. Sigh.

Maybe I can be the reasonable person. I’ll just stay sober all Halloween and judge people. I do like judging people, but what the heck does a reasonable person dress like?

How about a famous judge? I’ve seen this Judge Learned Hand fellow show up several times in my casebooks. I could be a giant body-sized hand holding a diploma, or maybe wearing judicial robes. But I’ve never really been good with papier-mâché, and we’re getting dangerously close to taping stuff to my body again…

For people my age, Halloween seems to be all about sexy outfits. But maybe I should bring Halloween back to its roots and go with a scary costume. How about I dress up as a giant page out the calendar with days marked “Final Exam,” or “Job Interview,” or BOTH?!

Yes, that just might do it.

But why not sexy and scary? How could I sex up a calendar page? Oh never mind, that’s easier to do than I first thought. Perfect.

Keep an eye out for a sexy, terrifying calendar if you’re out in NYC this Halloween.